A CAT’S DAY IN A HUMAN WORLD: JULY 12TH, 2017 – Butte, Montana USA – Kitty wants a drink!

Introduction: many years ago, I met a cat named Bob Williams, he was a nice cat and had learned to talk by watching old sitcoms from the 1980s.

True story! Don’t believe me, just ask him, he’ll tell you!

He travels the world, scaring the world one minute at a time.

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These are his diary entries, stolen by Hank the Cross Eyed Bulldog and handed to me, your friendly blogger, Jason the Near sighted pigeon!!

Please enjoy but don’t tell Bob where you got his diary from!!!

Your friend and fellow world traveller – Jason

So the other day I went down to the local watering hole and sat at my usual spot at the bar and order my usual, a whiskey and diet Coke(gots to watch my figure!) And the bartender was like, “oh no cat! We aint be serving you any more! You’re a mean drunk!! Gets outta here before I call da pound!!”

The hell, I hissed, pounding my paw on the bar, gimme my god damn drink before I rip your spleen outta your butt hole!!

“Get outta here you flea bag! You already been drinking!!! Last time ya got drunk, you pissed all over the bar, told a cop you’d hump his horse for a bag of weed and you called the radio station and tried to dedicate ‘GO SCREW YOURSELF WITH A DISEASED PORCUPINE’ to your ex! IT’S NOT EVEN A REAL SONG!!”

“Listen here you cod pucker, I bet you went to your sister’s wedding and hit on the bride! Just serve the kitty a shot and a beer!”

That damn monkey tucker did chase me outta there with a broom! And all I wanted was a drink!

 

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